This is what is happening but is it really what I want?

Author: Mary Westley

I really love it when one of our newsletters or posts prompts a person to drop us a line and share what’s been happening on their wellbeing and awareness journey. Today I received an e-mail from a woman who was part of last year’s Living Loving Life (LLL) course. She told me she had been thinking about coming to Bali but…

“…life has been busy this year so far and I’m sure that is what I asked for but (I am) waiting to see if that’s what I really want!!”

I love this. First, she understands that she is creating whatever is happening in her life and secondly, there is a level of awareness checking-in with whether what she is creating is what she really wants.

This women is a professional health worker and when she finished the LLL course, in the final sharing she told the group that for the first time in her life she felt like she had choices. She could see now that life wasn’t something that was just happening to her, that her choices were creating her life, and in making different choices she could begin to steer her life in a different direction.

This is no small thing, in fact it is a really, really big thing. This understanding and awareness is the cornerstone to creating a life we love to live, not just one we want to survive.

Often, it is the big, obvious things that come to mind when we think about changing our life, things like our work, where we live, or our relationships. I have learnt however that being unhappy with life has more to do with our beliefs and attitudes than about what we are doing, where we are living and who we are with. In fact, what we are doing and who we are with are usually a reflection of our beliefs and attitudes.

If there is a part of me that is constantly seeking approval to feel loved, and through experience I have learnt that approval comes from getting things done, being helpful, getting it right or looking good…then no amount of wanting to stop being so busy is going to work. There will always be a reason why I can’t stop…there will always be someone to help…something to finish…or to get right. Because without that, I won’t get the approval that I unconsciously need to feel OK about myself.

One of my favourite sayings is ‘if nothing changes, nothing changes’.

Sometimes, even after making drastic changes like leaving a relationship or a job, we can find ourselves right back in a similar situation again…and again…and again. Why does this keep happening? When we find ourselves in these déjà vu situations, what hasn’t changed is our understanding of who we are and what we really want. Our outer circumstances may look different but if nothing has changed internally then often the new partner or new boss will begin to resemble what we thought we had left behind…again.

With the help of Yoga and Ayurveda I have spent the last 15 years consciously unravelling the old stories of who I thought I should and could be, to find who I am and what is important to me. Simply put I have been developing my awareness. I love how the wisdom and simple daily practices of these two wise women have helped me grow on all levels, and in doing so have changed me and my life in ways I could never have even imagined.

Take home point: The journey begins and ends with awareness. Life isn’t a goal to be achieved or even a destination, it is a path. Having Yoga and Ayurveda on my side is like driving at night with the benefit of high beam, it helps me to see where I am going, know if I am on the right road and avoid the potholes.
​
The next 2WiseWomen retreat is in August 2016 in Ubud Bali. Yoga and Ayurveda’s take on Women’s Health & Spirituality.

READ NEXT BLOG